I heard we made out
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
