Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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