dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
