Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
