I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
