hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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