He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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