just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Bring me that man meat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
