if you like me you must not know who I am
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
