i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
