A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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