All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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