It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
