you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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