Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
