All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
