I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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