her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think my moral compass just broke
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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