I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
