So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
