i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
