If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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