I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
