Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
