I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
