if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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