its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
