real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
