Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
