One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
