you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
