i just sold back the books i vomitted on
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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