Porn is love you can see.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
