U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
