So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
