What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
