I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
