So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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