Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize
