Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
two words...techno handjob
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
