Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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