so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I have demons in me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
