Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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