Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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