We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
