I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
