READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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