Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
