ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
