soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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